As I explained in a much earlier blog, my children continually teach me truths. On this occasion it was a combination of my youngest daughter, Kerryn (aged 10 years) and a large avo tree that provided the lesson for me.

It is a Saturday afternoon. Typical Gauteng winter afternoon weather…perfect. The children (2 girls and 2 boys all of a similar age) are playing themselves into a stupor outside in the glorious sunshine. My sister, my mom and I are looking at photos of my other sister on the laptop. We hear a creak, a crash and then the silence……followed by a long wail!

Before I can leap up, put the laptop down, disentangle myself from the cables, my mom has sprinted outside and run smack into a large avo tree branch (this branch was duly cut off by mom this weekend). I finally get to the avo tree to find Kerryn dazed and bleeding, my mom dazed and wobbly. I take charge, issuing instructions to my sister to deal with mom, whilst I go into first aid mode. Check if Kerryn can feel her toes etc. Eventually, I carry her inside, I put ice on all the swelling bits and clean up and bandage all the bleeding bits. Then try and persuade a weepy child who had a VERY late night the previous night, to stay awake so that I can monitor her for concussion.

2 days later she is absolutley fine. No broken bones, no sprains, just a graze on her face. I have gone to see how high the tree is…..extremely high. But I was not sure from where she fell. So I asked her what happened.

“I was playing I was swimming in the sea. When I came above the leaves I was coming out of the water, when I went below the leaves I was swimming under the water. I had just come out of the water and was swimming under the water when I grabbed a branch to come out of the water again then I was swimming and landed on the ground!! I didn’t even know I was falling. I didn’t fall, the branch broke!”

Three things, immediately, were apparent to me.

Firstly, she was at the very TOP of the tree, she fell FAR.

Secondly, my innate knowedge of Kerryn was not wrong. Kerryn is one of those people that just knows where she is in the world physically and has immense control over her body. She just doesn’t fall. So I had been battling with the idea that she had fallen. She doesn’t fall.

Thirdly her comment ‘I didn’t fall, the branch broke” spoke volumes about her attitude to life.

This was my learning from her and the avo tree. Sometimes bad things happen, that just happen. It is not caused by you, you are only the recipient. Deal with it. There is no blame or guilt. It just is! I think if I had been the one climbing the tree I would have said ” I am so clumsy, I fell”. Now, I hope I can look at situations more realistically and just deal with them without the blame or guilt.

Thank you Kerryn.