Jules’ blog resonated loudly with me and I have been wondering how to respond? With this is mind and yesterday being a significant day for me personally, a finalisation of a 23 year era in my life, I decided I would tell my story. I joined Avo in April this year in the midst of a huge life transition. I have watched over time as new Avo’s have blogged their stories … why did I never do it? you won’t find a blog about who Sandi is on the website…. I was so turned inside-out at the time, I am not sure I could commit to paper who this person is.

My working career started in a tiny bookshop in Bree Street, Cape Town as Manager and then I went onto the sales team for the wholesale division of the company. I was hooked on books, I love ideas and stories and sharing them with others, I spent my days telling the stories about stories convincing buyers to put them on the bookshelves. My career went from strength to strength I moved up in the ranks through many of the prestigious publishing companies in South Africa. Learning and developing. I was fortunate enough to spend time at the Book Fares in London and Germany meeting delicious (and not so delicious!) people who have a love for the printed word. One of my passions is children’s books. The stories are so simple yet the truths are great, the artwork is key to wrapping the story up for our little ones imaginations (and we all have a little one inside us!). My passion took me to the point where I started my own book distribution company and even published some books on the way. But alas I lost my passion; got frustrated, made some bad decisions and connections, and eventually looking into my own soul, decided I needed to close the doors.

The lesson for me is that I have so many amazing strengths, and when I needed to focus on areas of business that are not my strength, they were frustrating and tapped into all my fears and anxieties. Unfortunately I did not manage to connect with other people who could support me with the strengths I lacked in order to make a long term success. There were great successes and milestones on the way, we (a little company of 3) forged some huge million rand deals, took books to places they were not previously sold, changed perceptions and created joy!

One of my personal learnings is that if you are not mindful about who you are and what you are doing, it opens up your fears and vulnerabilities. When we operate from that space we tend to make inaccurate decisions. We create our lives from a space of fear and not love. I made those decisions in my company. I made connections with people because I was anxious and operating out of fear. I lost my self love and created relationships in business that eventually were very damaging. So the day I looked at my soul and saw the darkness, I decided it was time to walk away because I had given my power away.

Being at Avo has challenged me to once again acknowledge who I am and what my worth is. My identity was wrapped up in the book trade for 23 years. Like a rope that has weathered many storms and has become strong but tightly bound together, you think if you unwind it will break. It took time for me to oil that rope, to rest and heal. When I was able to start unwinding my identity that was so tightly wound in the book trade I was able to start discovering my own value again.

The decision I made was to be more aware or conscious in my life. Choosing to find the authenticity in a situation or moment. I think when we know our truth and operate from that place of truth we create love and success in our lives. Being in the moment allows us to connect with our truth, we can then make more powerful decisions. So being mindful has helped me take little steps of truth along my healing journey. I feel like I am unwinding from an identity shaped by a life style of needing to find my value through an industry and others; to one of seeking my own value and truth, being more aware or mindful and creating my life out of my own truth. My passion is returning, my energy is vibrating again and I am embracing my life once again…..

So this is my story and my journey which I embrace and celebrate!