Ok so I have to write a follow on to the blog about Leaders Leading Learning and the guys at Auto & Truck Tyres.  I was running a two day course with them – first day on Saturday and then two weeks later the second day, again on Saturday.  Yep they blew me away this time with where they’ve taken the learning.

At Avo we have found that the work done by Eric Berne on Transactional Analysis makes for a very useful concept that can dramatically shift how you deal with the people around you.  Whether they are customers, peers, direct reports, a spouse, a friend or your kids, understanding this stuff, your Parent Adult and Child ego states, helps you manage yourself and improves the quality of your relationships with those people.  Your ego states are at play every time you interact with someone.  So we introduce the concept, keep it simple and have a lot of fun with it on a course.

Interestingly, it is one of the rare concepts where I have consistently experienced incredible shifts in behaviour with people.   In a few cases I’ve worked with guys who have lived their whole adult lives as husband, father and manager in a Parent ego state.  They knew no alternative. Exposing them to TA almost came as a physical blow to them.  In a feedback session once a man told me that he’d had his first real ‘Adult’ conversation with his daughter, who was 21.  Another told me he made his wife a cup of coffee and took it to her in bed for the first time in his married life: he must have been 55 at least.  Yet another told me how, while holding back his fear and intimidation, he managed to get his boss to come back to adult … but it took him 2 days.

So I introduced the concept at ATT two weeks ago and was back on Saturday to complete the course.  I didn’t get it straight away. It took a while, and only sank in when I was presented with a T-shirt: everyone else was wearing the same shirt.  The other director, Nic, not to be outdone by Rob, had printed T-shirts for every one with ‘Think Adult’ emblazoned across the front in pink (because it’s a soft skill and Steven likes pink).  The leaders had again led the learning in front of their management team.  They’ve taken the concept and started making it part of their culture.  The feedback from the previous Saturday was lovely: they’ve shifted the quality of their conversations – ‘Adult’ leads to respect.

Will the learning stick in their organisation?, Yes. Why? Because their leaders are 100% behind it.  Again Rob was able to have enough courage tell everyone where he went wrong and how he exploded in ‘Child’ (because he was not at his desk where he could see his ‘Adult’ sign) during a conversation he had with the bank the previous week.  Then he reflected on how during that same conversation he had managed to shift his Parent/Child and regain his Adult ego state 3 times.  Think his management team will take this on, be open to the learning?  I have no doubt.

I  have been training for a long time, and courses run in very different ways, mostly as a result of the individuals attending, their perception of training and the culture of their organisation.  I feel privileged to have worked with you at A&TT.  You took the learning and made it work for yourselves, you were open and challenging and you brought the fun with you.  It is a comment on your leaders, on yourselves and your own leadership style and the exceptional culture you have created.  I can take the learning so far but you have to take it further. We have sown the Avo seed; you must nurture it and reap the rewards in the future.

Thanks Rob, Nic and all of you at A&TT. The experience with you was memorable for me.